Remembering a past life is like watching a movie. Do I decide to believe that the life or the story I just witnessed is/was my own? That I need to cling to it, give meaning to it and identify with it? Or is it a story I can learn from and move on?
Read MoreThe most productive use of my time and energy is to rest and see what needs attention next.
So simple but not always that easy (although honestly, sometimes it truly is that easy). I’ve had to unlearn a lot of shit. I’ve had to completely dismantle and redefine what I believe that makes me a valuable person worthy of love (hint: being alive is enough). I’ve had to let go of my future and what I always thought it would be.
Read MoreThe relationship with myself that exists because I want to avoid my feelings is not a relationship I want to keep showing up for.
Read MoreI had known for a long time that this phone call was going to happen. Sadly, it was never a matter of "if" only a matter of "when".
Read MoreWelcome to another aspect of my brain my friends. I promise you at this point the longing is more torture than joy. But that’s okay. The fact that I recognize that I'm doing this and how deeply it is embedded in my brain process, is great. Now I can do something with it instead of being subject to it.
This analogy came to me this in my meditation this morning: it's as though I'm trying to grab a thing and instead of just stepping closer to it, I'm reaching and waiting for my arms to grow longer.
Read MoreWhen I stop putting the thing in front of me that repeatedly tells me that I should or could be doing more, I "magically" stopped thinking those things. Like..they literally just dropped off the fucking radar. Suddenly, what I was doing was enough and…AND…I WAS FUCKING CONTENT WITH THAT!!
Read MoreIt felt like a black pit of nothing. Not despair or sadness or even emptiness. It was just..nothing.
So that’s cool..Whatever. I'm fine. My life has absolutely no meaning after years of thinking and believing and really working at building trust in my guts and intuition annnnnnnnd none of it is true. Its all..nothing.
This is getting dark..
The greatest things we do in life, that change us profoundly, also effect those around us in unparalleled ways. Those are often the most terrifying acts we ever do. They are the decisions that make our hearts race while setting our souls free. Once we leap, we realize that our ability to fly was always there, we just had to fucking jump and let ourselves actually fly to see it.
Read MoreIt is an absolute honor to be able to facilitate such an exchange. It's not easy. It's fucking amazing and rewarding but it's certainly no walk in the park. If I'm not owning it every single second, the audience wont either. If I block myself from being the channel, the audience fucking knows it and they block themselves as well.
Read MoreWell, I meant for this to be a short blip about how lovely the wind blowing my skirt around felt while putting naked pictures of myself up around town. But it was probably more about human connection and the things I do to try to create space for more of that
Read MoreThis is my goddamned blog and my shit emotional process. If I sensor myself in these environments, I'm in deep trouble. If I'm not allowed as many fucking F-bombs as I need, you can bet your sweet ass that I'm holding back other shit as well.
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